It's been awhile since I've been here - I've been dealing with depression. Which for me is an ongoing challenge. When I was first diagnosed (about 30 years ago) they told me I had two types of depression - the first one was hereditary and was something I will always have. The second type is mostly controlled with meds - although there are times when even the meds don't work and I get real down. Mostly feeling like I'm pretty useless and can't do much of anything. A lot of the time this type of the depression is accompanied by an increase in my Fibromyalgia pain. I just don't understand why I have to have such a stupid body. You know one with a bazillion different things wrong with it.
On a happier note, after a year and eight months I almost have my kitchen back. Half the floor is laid, the upper cabinets are all in, the lower cabinets are mostly in and the dishwasher needs more wall space. My husband and son have to open up one wall and build the other wall out some more. Trying to figure out where to put everything is worse than challenging, it seems like an insurmountable task when I look at all the boxes and all the food that needs to go into the cabinets. I know that I'll eventually figure out the best places for everything - but until then, I still have to go searching through boxes for what I need. I do know that when they are all done, it will be so very nice. Plus I have two walls that are a lime green (a bit lighter than my blog color). I wanted that color green because it makes me smile and I need as much of that as I can get.
My friend Janice and I have started back to water aerobics, this week. I was so tired by the end of Tuesday that I cancelled for Wednesday and we went again this morning and then we'll go tomorrow. Janice's husband, Rod, is driving us, as neither of us can drive any more. It makes it a bit inconvenient for all of us, but at least we are getting exercise (Rod is walking on the YMCA's outside track - now that the weather is nicer).
I've finally found H.P. Lovecraft's "Book of the Supernatural" in which is a 30,000 word piece he wrote called "Notes on writing weird fiction". I'm looking forward to reading it - as I've read that it existed in a couple of biographies, but I've never found it before. Every once in awhile someone in my writing group will remark that a story I've given them to critique is very "Lovecraftian". Which is so way cool! The same day that I bought that book, I found a book with all three of Edgar Rice Burroughs' "John Carter of Mars" stories. I've looked for them forever (also). Do you know what the very best thing about reading is? For me, it's the ability to leave my life and go to so many other places. I can travel to Mars or out beyond our galaxy - I can delve into ancient horrors that lurk - I can even travel to the in between places with the likes of Charles deLint and J.R.R. Tolkien.
If it helps at all, Patti, I have a friend whose organs are all in the wrong places and she is either sick or has a broken limb like ALL the time. You are not alone, friend.
ReplyDeleteWater aerobics are very very good, and I should sign up myself, so thanks for inspiring me to do so.
A lime green kitchen sounds fantastic! My kitchen is a soft purple with a celery ceiling. Green is the best color ever!
I might have to borrow that Lovecraft book from you when you're done...
Happy reading!
Tamara
Patti, I was unaware that you are a depressive. I am, too. I've been dealing with it for over 20 years now. I finally found a combination of meds that hold most of the symptoms in check, and allow me to function pretty well most of the time. I still have dark days when everything seems pretty pointless, but those have been really rare for the past four years. Mine is hereditary from my mother's side.
ReplyDeleteWhat were your thoughts after reading the Lovecraft piece? I know you mentioned it at the book group, but I don't remember if you'd read it at that point.